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• Becky Trenkler
• Feb 21, 2010
• Category: General
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Since I was a little girl I had a hard time with the idea of God being jealous. I can remember being 5 years old, struggling through the pressures of middle-child syndrome, and being terribly jealous of my siblings. (Wow, I thought my problems were big!) I would then foolishly proceed to express my envy, and my parents thought I was just cranky and made me take a nap.

So you can see how confused my little mind was to learn in Sunday School that God is jealous. Wasn’t jealousy a bad thing? How come God is allowed to be envious, but I was punished? What is He jealous for anyway? He made everything, doesn’t that mean He owns it all too?

Furthermore, this characteristic didn’t seem to mesh with the personality of the God I thought I knew. In Exodus 20:5 God proclaims that He is a jealous God, punishing up to four generations of a father who hates Him. It’s just so extreme. I knew God as a kind, merciful, and loving Protector; and this verse made Him sound so… mean, like a power-hungry tyrant.

This childish understanding of God’s jealousy followed me into my teenage years, which I spent trying to avoid the subject as much as possible. Even so, I knew the Father was inviting me to take a chance and dive into this aspect of who He is. Fast-forward to the spring of 2008; I was 18 years old, half-way through an amazing year at RMC, the LORD had broken huge, thick, heavy chains in my life, and I finally accepted the invitation.

In worship we had started singing a new song called, “He Loves Us,” by John Mark McMillan. (The LORD used this song, and other events, to launch me into an exploration of His limitless Love, and the journey hasn’t stopped yet!) Anyway, the song opens with the phrase, “He is jealous for me…” When I heard these lyrics my first thought was Oh no, not this again! The second thing that happened was I realized that I had never heard the phrase put that way before, that God is jealous… for me. This was not merely an invitation anymore, but rather the Father beckoning me to explore this part of His character. For the first time I was drawn to this aspect of God.

That night I made my way to the pew I had claimed as my own, in the balcony overlooking the enormous sanctuary, Bible and concordance in one hand, and my other hand around the Father’s arm. I sat down, willingly opened my heart in true desire to understand His jealousy, and asked the LORD to unfold this mystery. I read everything I could find in the Bible regarding the LORD’s jealousy, mulled the verses over and over in my mind, analyzing them at every angle, determined to lay this mystery to rest.

As I allowed the verses of God’s jealousy to consume me He began to speak to me. God started to tell me about how big He is. He told me of how He molded the Earth, how He weaved the universe, and stitched the stars into place. He told about the vastness of the universe, and even so, to Him it was like a grain of sand. And I was thinking the same thing you’re probably thinking now, that’s all well and good, but what on earth does it have to do with Your jealousy? “Just trust me and listen,” the Father said ever so gently.

The next piece of the puzzle the LORD gave me reminded me of how small I am. He reminded me how compared to Him, I’m a tiny speck. He told me about how small I am compared to the universe, the ocean, and the mountains. He reminded me that I am just one person out of 6 billion on the planet. By this time I was thinking, am I supposed to feel crummy about myself right now? The Father just kept saying, “Trust me,” and once again I gave Him my trust and let Him continue.

The LORD then gave me the last piece to the puzzle, and once I saw the big picture, it was breathtaking. The last piece was a picture of His desire for intimacy with me. He showed me that He is Mighty, Great, Holy, and infinitely more, and compared to Him I am weak, tiny, insignificant, and sinful, and yet He desires intimacy with me. And here’s where His jealousy finally makes sense, His longing for a relationship with me is so strong, so great, that when my object of affection is not Him, it is unbearable to Him. God, the Almighty’s desire for an intimate relationship with me is so passionate that He aches when my heart is drawn to another object, person, whatever. I can break the heart of the Almighty God. It is here where the LORD’s jealousy resides.

This Truth hit me like a brick wall, and told me of His great and limitless Love like no other. Tears streamed from my eyes as I became overwhelmed with the Love of the Father. I basked in His Love, lingered in His Presence, and worshiped the Almighty God, Lover of the insignificant. For the first time I saw pure beauty in God’s jealousy.

I would not be sharing this personal experience on the Web for all to see if I didn’t believed the LORD was asking me to. I believe that God is calling out to His Church for intimacy and it is my hope that in reading this you have seen the Love of God in a new light, in a way that will draw your heart deeper into His Love. So, whether your relationship status says single, in a relationship, engaged, married, or it’s complicated, will you allow yourself to fall deeper in love with your Creator? Ask the Father to reveal His Love to you and draw you into deeper intimacy. I can guarantee that He will reveal things that will astonish you! The LORD is crying out for passionate intimacy with His Bride and is jealous for her heart. Will you finally accept the invitation He’s been offering you as long as you can remember? I encourage you to take the Father’s hand and take a chance, allow Him to lead you deeper into His Person. In this there is no regret.